The Expert Mother

Natural conception or doctor-assisted?
Medicines during pregnancy or not?
Ultrasounds or not?
Midwife or doctor?
Home birth or hospital?
Vaginal or c-section?
Epidural or natural?
Breast milk or formula?
Cloth diapers or paper?
Natural baby products or chemicals?
Circumcision or not?
Baby sling or stroller?
Immunizations early or delay them?
Rear facing or forward facing?
Expensive car seat or mid range?
Starting cereal at a young or waiting?
Pacifier or not?
Co-sleeping or sleep training?
Veggies then fruits or fruits then veggies?
Whole milk or skim?
Stay-at-home or work-out-of-home?
Sign language or not?
To spank or not to spank?
Underwear or trainers?
Public school or private?

My sister-in-law, Tristan, and I were talking about mothering today. We shared laughs and agreed that everyone seems to think they are an expert on being pregnant, birth and raising a child. I've been thinking about that conversation since then and come to the conclusion that maybe everyone, in their own right, is an expert about something.

The amount of decisions you're faced with in the first three years of your child's life can be daunting. Although I now have an opinion on everything on the list, there was a time that I had no clue what to do or even that some of the options on the list existed. Some things on that list I have VERY strong opinions on, some of the things I now feel that I'm an expert on, other things not so much. Some things I've learned through my own research, some through trial and error and (if I'm being honest) some of the things I've learned from other expert mothers.

I still think it's true that everyone thinks they know the best way to raise a child...and perhaps that is true of their child...but their advice might not be right for my child. There are things that I innately know are best for Mason just because I'm his mom. I know how he's going to react to you before you even talk to him. I know if the tickle you're about to give him will turn into a fit of laughter or if he's going to come up swinging. These things I know about him, these things cannot be taught.

One could honestly go crazy listening to all of the advice out there, but there are things that I've learned from other gracious moms. I think the key is deciding what kind of parent you want to be then learning from those types of moms. Gain from the useful advice and let the rest go. I can say that I'm a better mom today because of the things I've learned from wonderful mothers. Old, young, hippy and mainstream. Every good mother has something useful to share.

Today I learned from a mom with two months of experience...our conversation made me think long and hard about the different types of moms in the world. Yes we are all very different and yes we all think we know best...but we are also part of the same sacred sorority called motherhood. We love our children and want the best for them.

My challenge to the moms reading this: Reach out to mothers that you admire and learn something from them...in exchange share your expert skills/knowledge with other moms and be receptive to learn expert skills/advice from them. We all have something useful to share.