*I apologize in advance for how broken, long and scatter-brained this post may be. It has served it's purpose as a therapeutic outlet for me and I feel much better with it all off of my chest!*Most girls grow up dreaming of being a bride, imagining their dress, their flowers, their hair. Not me. I grew up dreaming of being a mom. Not to diminish my wonderful husband or our wedding, but I
had dreams of baking cookies, doing arts and crafts and watching dance recitals.
I have one of the best mothers a girl could ask for. She's intelligent, caring, talented, compassionate and always full of the right words for the situation. She always knew when I needed a hug or chicken soup, she still does. So it comes as no surprise that I always wanted to be just like her when I grew up.
Although I've always wanted to be a mom, my biggest fear was to not be able to have children. Then I was diagnosed in college with
endometriosis, a disease that can affect fertility. But, to my surprise getting pregnant with Mason was very easy! HOORAY!!
Then l
ast February (2007) Nick and I decided that we were ready and excited to add another kiddo to the mix. Expecting things to be easy like they were with Mason was a big mistake on my part. I wasn't prepared and the preceding months brought me much sadness and disappointment. Knowing that I had a history of
endometriosis I decided to see a specialist, so I called a reproductive endocrinologist (RE).
RE's specialize in fertility and other reproductive issues. We felt really good about our new doctor who, by the way, talked with Nick and I in-depth about the procedures we would be going through.
First up were multiple blood tests all of which came back normal. Normal results are great unless you're looking for a problem to fix...otherwise they offer no information, merely frustration. After my blood tests I had a procedure called a
hysterosalpingogram (
HSG). For the most part all things came back clear with this test as well. Frustration set in again.
Then in November Nick and I were elated when I took a home pregnancy test that came back positive!!! Another August baby, how fun would that be? We started talking about three birthdays in one month, if we were going to be able to buy season tickets to watch the Cowboys, etc, etc. We were ecstatic! Mason was so excited because he was going to be a 'big
bruda'. But, unfortunately almost two weeks later (Thanksgiving Day to be exact) I lost the baby. This is the part I don't talk about much. After months of expecting a positive result, after a myriad of tests and repeatedly getting my hopes up...I felt like someone slapped me in the face. I was mad about everything. Mad that I couldn't get pregnant, mad that I couldn't keep the baby, mad that few people knew how I felt inside and that I didn't feel like explaining it to them. After the miscarriage Nick and I decided it best to take a break. We did and I can't tell you how much of a relief it was! No more taking my temperature at the same time every morning so that I could input the data in a chart, no more disappointment, no more negative tests.
During our break (late December) I had another test done called a
hysteroscopy. This required me to go under general anesthesia but, for the most part, wasn't overly painful. The RE needed to take a sample of my uterine lining to biopsy to make sure, in his words, that my complications were 'nothing serious.' Turns out they weren't, my pathology reports came back clean as a whistle and I was left once again with no answers.
We decided it was time to jump back on the wagon again. We were going try for six more months then rethink everything if, after that, we still weren't pregnant. I had a prescription in hand for a drug that was supposed to help us get pregnant. I was waiting to fill it when I had an urge to take another home pregnancy test because I just wasn't feeling 'normal'. Well, it was positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How exciting. Of course we debated telling anyone, including family, because I had no desire to relive the events that unfolded after our first miscarriage.
But, the blood tests were coming back with great results and my body seemed to be doing just what it needed to be doing for this to be a healthy pregnancy so we had faith that this little bean would stick.
I guess this is my coming out party to you guys...those of you that didn't know what was going on and had no clue of either pregnancy. We went in this morning for my first ultrasound and I'm happy to announce that we have a heartbeat with a rate of 104! Nick and I were able to see it and are excited about what a zoo our house will be come October. :) I'm measuring small so I might not be as far along as we originally thought and the doc wasn't able to get good measurements on the size this time. I'm going back in on March 10
th for another ultrasound in order to get a better view of the baby! I can't say that I'm still not a tad worried, but I guess that is to be expected. I can only hope that as time passes and my belly grows my fears will fade and we can start looking forward to welcoming
Curlyhead #2.
Meet our new baby, Curlyhead #2!
Can't see much?? Well there isn't much to see. The baby is only three millimeters long right now. But, I do promise to keep you updated with belly and ultrasounds pictures. I should have another one March 10
th. I guess it's true that you do pop faster with the second kid. With Mason my belly started pooching at 8 weeks and now I've started a tiny pooch at 6 weeks.
My other good news is that my sister-in-law Summer found out she was pregnant on the SAME EXACT DAY I did!!!! We're both sooooo very excited to be pregnant together, have our babies at the same time and share birthday parties. It's going to be a blast for the kids to grow up so close in age!!!!!xoxo,
Steph
One problem: That's not the same picture I posted before. It's a new photo taken this morning. I got home from work yesterday to find the front yard flooded -- AGAIN! Turns out the repair the guy made last time also sprang a leak. So the same guy was back today to fix it again. He said there's a lot of pressure being put on the pipe in question by the settling of the house, and it's not assured it won't leak again. If it does, it could mean replacing the entire line from the water meter to the house, which would be $$$. So here's hoping for no additional actual devastating front-yard tragedies from this point forward.
ose-up of the tag: 
